mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
