someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
