I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
