why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
