Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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