He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
