Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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