he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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