She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
