Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Randomize
