I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
