would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
