drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize