what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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