I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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