well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
