I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
