Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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