yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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