hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize