We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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