did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
