im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
