Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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