i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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