I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So vagazzling was a success
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
