I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
