I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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