they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
These tits shall not be calmed
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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