so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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