More tranny stories later!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize