I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You made out with two different species that night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
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