never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
