Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize