??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
