think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
