Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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