atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
