how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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