I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
