For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
