Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize