I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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