Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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