Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
