so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
