Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
