I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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