Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
