hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
