I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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