i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize