you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
