He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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