I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
