She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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