I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
